Dr. K
Kuhathasan
CEO, Centre for Leadership Excellence and Personality Development
Leadership
areas in interpersonal skills are wide and varied. A short list of such skills
would include at least the following counseling group skills, assertiveness,
social skills, interviewing skills, writing skills, using the telephone and
group facilitation skills, Examples of how such skills are used in a range of
settings are also numerous and would include the following among many others.
Counseling skills: counseling colleagues, friends, clients and customers.
Assertiveness skills: returning bad goods, saying “no”, keeping to contracts
and agreements.
Social skills:
introducing yourself, conducting meetings, working with the general public,
with customers and clients.
Facilitation skills: Group dynamics, building teams, charring discussions
and organizing meetings.
Personal qualities for interpersonal effectiveness
Certain personal qualities are
necessary for effective interpersonal relationships. A basic cluster of such
necessary qualities may be identified as: kindness, genuineness, empathy, and
positive thinking.
These personal qualities cannot be
described an “skills” but they are necessary if we are to use interpersonal
skills effectively. They form the bedrock of all effective human relationships.
1. Personal qualities are equally as
important as interpersonal skills, themselves.
2. Kindness, the ability to empathize and
the tendency to be non judgmental are important attitudinal qualities.
3. We probably learn about our own
interpersonal skills when we fail to achieve results.
Kindness
Kind people are likely to get on
better with others, following consideration are involved in demonstrating
kindness.
·
Equal
worth.
·
Absence
of blame
·
Non
defensiveness
·
Closeness
Genuineness
Genuineness is another important
aspect of the professional interpersonal relationship, in one sense, the issue
is clear; we either genuinely care for the person in front of us or we do not.
We cannot easily fake professional interest.
Empathetic understanding
We should to be able to empathize with
other people in order to understand them. Empathy is the term usually used to
convey the idea of the ability to enter the perceptual world of the other
person: to see the world as they see it. It also suggests an ability to convey
this perception.
Empathy is the ability to perceive
the feelings of another person and to communicate this understanding to him.
Counseling skills
Counseling skills can be used in a
variety of settings. They may be used to help the person who is suffering from
a temporary emotional crisis of they may be useful in helping the person who
has longer-term problems. Counseling skills are also useful in everyday
business and administration situations when dealing with colleagues, clients or
customers. They may also be practical and useful as a set of interpersonal
skills of everyday use in every client-practitioner situation.
Group facilitation
Another type of interpersonal skills
is group facilitation – the process of enabling groups to run effectively. Such
skill serves two purposes. First, it is the application on interpersonal skills
in professional context. Second all the aspects of facilitation will help
effective team approach.
Trust
Trust,
forms the bed-rock of interpersonal relationship. In his book, the seven habits
of highly effective people. Stephen covey uses the metaphor of an “emotional
bank account” to describe the amount of trust that has been built up in
relationship. To convey, trust refers to the overall feeling of safeness that
you have with another person. You make “deposits” into an emotional bank
account with another person through kindness, honestly, and keeping
commitments.
Covey
suggests six major deposits to build up emotional bank accounts.
- · Understand and honor people’s needs and priorities, which may be very different than our own.
- · Attend to little things, like showing kindness and being courteous, because they make big positive deposits in relationships.
- · Keep commitments. Breaking a promise can be a massive withdrawal that may prevent future deposits because people won’t believe you.
- · Clarify expectations so that others don’t feel cheated or violated if you don’t behave in ways that they assumed you knew they desired, even though they never overtly told you.
- · Show personal integrity by keeping promises, being honest, fulfilling expectations, and being loyal to all people equally, including those not present.
- · Apologies sincerely when you make a withdrawal, without rationalizing or trying to shift some of the blame to the other.
As trust builds in our emotional bank
account, it becomes the foundation of regenerative relationships with others,
People learn to put all their cards on the table to deal with issues and solve
problems without wasting energy focused on difference in personality pr
position, Without trust, you lack the reliability an safety for open
communication, creativity, problem solving, or mutual learning.
Human
Relations
Human
relation is an important component of inter personal relations. The most
successful people in service, business or politics are those who possess, in
addition to their knowledge and qualifications, the ability to communicate and
win over people.
What
are human relations?
1.
A
study of human behavior and motivation.
2.
The
science of influencing positive human behavior.
3.
The
ability to get along with people.
4.
The
expertise of selling yourself-your ideas, hopes, and ambitions to others.
5.
A
culture of decent, civilized behavior and respect for the views, thinking and
dignity of others.
6.
Treating
people, not as commodities, but as individuals.
7.
Being
sensitive to the feelings of others,
8.
The
art of making friends and maintaining friendships.
This
art of human relations when applied can help you to.
1.
Make
and retain friends
2.
Enhance
your influence and prestige
3.
Make
others like and respect you.
4.
Become
an effective leader
5.
Develop
expertise to tackle difficult and complex situations
6.
Be
a better person employer, employee.
7.
Make
others around you cheerful.
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